On being queer

This is mostly triggered by a series of arguments I had with a Christian friend (who will not be named) upon coming out to said friend.

First, foremost, and possibly most important; being gay is not a choice. It just isn't. Someone who is gay did not just wake up one morning and decide that he or she was going to be romantically/sexually interested in the same gender.
For one thing, there is genetic evidence that gay and straight people are wired differently. It's like having brown or black hair. Let's say you have brown eyes; how would you like it if someone came up and said you were going to hell because your eyes were brown? Really. It's the same.
Also, it's just stupid to think that someone would decide to be persecuted. That someone would decide to be shunned by many people in society. That someone would decide to give up their right to be with their loved one in a way that society would recognize. It's just stupid. Seriously.

I do not believe that someone's sexuality is something that can be changed. I suppose if you really tried, you could suppress that side of you, and maybe even convince yourself to be happy ignoring a part of who you are. Truly, though, I don't think it would change. It's wired into you.

Now, this is just something I want to get out there, because it's something I went through; if someone comes out to you, as a friend, they are looking for support. In a way, they need that support. They may be scared or uncertain, especially if you are the first they've come out to. Judging them and telling them they are going to hell does not help. Not a bit. So be supportive, please.

Let's assume, for a moment, that you can change your sexuality. Hypothetically. It shouldn't matter. It shouldn't. Because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. Nothing. Nothing at all. It's just that society has placed that idea in our collective minds; the idea that somehow, love is not okay when it's between two men or two women. Love is love is love is fucking love, alright? Gender doesn't matter, not really.

Being queer doesn't make me who I am. It's a part of me, and one I am stubbornly proud of, but it does not define me. Don't define someone by who they love. For that matter, don't condemn someone for who they love, either.

By the way, this is the first time I have (somewhat) publicly outright said that I am, in fact, queer. I'm done hiding it. I am done worrying about what people might think, because "the people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind". Dr. Seuss was a wicked rhymester and a wise man.

So yeah. I'm here. I'm queer. Deal with it.