So. RENT.

Ell oh ell. I totally forgot about this thing for a while. I knew that would happen. But now I'm back and ready/rarin' to go.

So. RENT. As if anyone reading this wouldn't know how much I love it. But I just really want to rant about why, and (in the next post) about what I believe the show's message means.

Let's flashback to summer of 07. 14-year-old me is freaking out, majorly, because there must be something wrong with me. I mean... I can't like girls, can I? That's...

Despite talks with a very close friend of mine (who is, in all likelihood, never going to read this), I couldn't come to terms with the idea of my even being bisexual. Surely someone like me could never be happy, never be close enough with my friends that they would find out this terrible secret. I devoted a couple of pages in my half-assed journal (hmm, something like this blog?) to wondering how people would treat me differently, whether they would shun me.

Unlike some, I didn't instantly fall in love the instant I saw RENT. It confused me, enthralled me, intrigued me. But at first I didn't understand why. I mean, the music was great and catchy and the movie was well done, the characters well-developed and all, but why did it slowly become more and more important to me?

It took me a good long while to figure it out. But when I did, it made perfect sense.

RENT showed a confused, scared me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. That I was not the only one who was attracted to those of the same sex. That I could be perfectly happy, and have great friends, a great life, without having to worry about pretending to be someone I'm not. That is what RENT did for me. And that is why I love it.

But as I continued through my violent-obsession-phase, I discovered more and more of what RENT really meant, at least to me, and what messages Jonathan Larson, genius that he was, had embedded in his great work.

RENT is about life. It's about love. It's about loss. It's about winning, losing, hanging on to a dream. It's about friendship, trust. It's about how one day, one moment even, can change your life forever in ways you never dreamed of. It's about living with no regrets, and never letting a chance pass you by. It's about joy, fear, fury, grief. It's about what's truly important in life.

RENT has absolutely, irrevocably changed me, and I firmly believe that it was for the better. Under all the spazzing and giggling about various cast members and buying everything I can get my hands on with the RENT logo on it, I have a deep and abiding love for what Jonathan has created.

"It's time now to sing out
'Cause the story never ends
Let's celebrate, remember a year
In the life of friends."

Despite the rampant overuse of this phrase, I can't help but close this post with a heartfelt thank you, Jonathan Larson.